3 Reasons We Grow Better Together
Lura was 104 years old when we first met. At the time, I was working as a physical therapist in an assisted living facility and Lura’s room was across the…
I’ve been running long enough to know when a bad run is coming.
From that first step, my legs feel disconnected, like they have their own agenda. My breathing is off. Everything feels heavier than it should. I start doing mental math the entire run — how much farther I have left, whether I should slow down, whether I should just call it early and try again tomorrow.
When that happens, I’ll start wondering if I’ve somehow lost progress. But over time, I’ve noticed something interesting: my best runs almost always come on the other side of my worst runs.
I think spiritual growth often works that way, too. In many ways, spiritual growth mirrors physical training. Hebrews 12:11 reminds us: “no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace…” Growth often feels hardest in the middle, before we can yet see what God is producing through it.
As church leaders, we spend a lot of time helping people move toward maturity in Christ. But eventually, many people hit a kind of spiritual plateau. They still attend church. They still serve. They still know the right answers. But internally, something feels stalled. And often, they can’t even explain why, which can make being stuck even harder to identify and address.
I think one of the mistakes we make in disciplemaking is assuming that stalled growth always points to apathy or resistance. Indeed, sometimes it does… But more often than we realize, people feel stuck because they’re trying to grow without anyone truly walking alongside them.
The people in your circles of influence might be surrounded by sermons, podcasts, studies, and Christian content, but still missing the kind of intentional relationship where someone actually knows them.
That’s why disciplemaking relationships matter so deeply, especially in a culture where people can consume endless Christian content without it ever actually becoming personal for them.
Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together… but encouraging one another.”. Spiritual growth was never intended to happen in isolation. From the beginning, God’s design has always involved people moving together in the same direction.
Jesus never seemed in a hurry to mass-produce transformation. He taught crowds, but He discipled people. He walked closely with His disciples, listened to their questions, corrected them, encouraged them, and remained present in the slow process of their growth.
And honestly, growth usually is slow, which is one of the reasons so many people become stuck.
We live in a culture that expects immediate progress, measurable outcomes, and visible results, but spiritual formation rarely works that way.
Most transformation happens gradually. Paul reminded the Corinthians that spiritual growth is ultimately God’s work: “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow” (1 Corinthians 3:6, NIV).
That’s an important reminder for those of us leading and discipling others. We are called to faithfully walk with people, but transformation itself often unfolds slowly and beneath the surface before fruit becomes visible. Even more often, growth happens through ordinary faithfulness, intentional conversations, honest questions, meaningful encouragement, and showing up over time.
Think about Peter and the patience Jesus consistently showed him throughout the Gospels. Jesus didn’t walk away after Peter’s impulsiveness, misunderstandings, fear, or failure. He stayed. Even after Peter denied Him three times, Jesus pursued restoration instead of distance. In John 21, we see Jesus gently calling Peter back, reminding him of both his calling and his purpose.
I sometimes wonder if one of the reasons some people continue growing is simply because someone stayed long enough to walk with them through the hard parts. Not with all the answers or a perfect system, but with enough consistency to keep showing up and pointing them back to Jesus over time.
In running, plateaus don’t necessarily mean something is wrong. Sometimes they’re part of building endurance. Sometimes growth is happening internally before you can see the results externally. The same thing can be true of our faith.
If you’re discipling someone who seems stuck, what can help you both power through? More of what Jesus models for us: presence, patience, perseverance. With those in place, you’ll get back on track in no time.
