You Can Have What You Want – Freedom to be Fulfilled
If the Rolling Stones are wrong, my kids are going to be frustrated! For years, I’ve been telling them that they can’t always get what they want. Up to this…
Lura was 104 years old when we first met. At the time, I was working as a physical therapist in an assisted living facility and Lura’s room was across the hall. Lura seldom had a visitor, so I made an intentional effort to ask her questions about her life. I learned about Lura’s childhood, her late husband of 60 years, and that she had never had children of her own. Over the next three years, our friendship continued to grow as we shared our stories with each other.
As I made time to listen to Lura, she began to trust me with her personal concerns and to invite me to “stop in again tomorrow.” You see, Lura lived in a residence that was safe and clean. She had plenty to eat, stimulating activities, and good medical care. She was surrounded by staff and other residents, but internally, Lura was lonely. She needed someone who understood the individual needs of her heart.
Lura’s need to be known and understood is part of God’s design for each of our lives. Our lives in Christ are no exception. Even in the presence of people, church activities, and sound instruction, Christians can languish in their spiritual growth when individual and personal needs remain unaddressed.
As disciplemakers, realizing those needs will make us better at encouraging the growth of those we disciple. And when we step into that kind of intentional, relational investment, we begin to see why growing together matters:
Consider how the Lord designed us. He created Adam, placed him in beautiful surroundings, gave him work to do, and provided for his physical needs. Yet, God knew something was lacking. It was not good for Adam to be alone. “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18, NIV).
Throughout the Scriptures, God provided suitable help in times of need. Consider Moses and Aaron, Priscilla and Aquila, and Paul and Timothy. Sharing in life together is not only God’s design, it maximizes our effectiveness as Kingdom workers.
And we see the impact of that design most clearly when we walk closely with others in their spiritual growth.
Disciplemakers are able to make a significant impact in someone’s spiritual growth where other means may have fallen short. They have the privilege of walking side-by-side with another disciple as God brings growth to his or her life.
Here’s what begins to happen when we walk closely with someone in their growth:
Intentionality
There are a number of common questions new Christ-followers ask, including, “Where should I start reading in the Bible?” and “How should I study to learn?” Endless opinions on spiritual growth make it challenging to know where to begin. However, a disciplemaker can provide intentional guidance toward the Scriptures, disciplines, and tools best suited for the individual needs of each disciple. Moving forward with intentionality provides a direction for spiritual growth to begin.
Individuality
A priority for every new believer is to pursue a biblical knowledge base and skills to grow as a Christ-follower. These include learning how to spend time with God, how to talk to God in prayer, and more. A new believer can attain some level of mastery through reading, instruction, and group study. However, when our individual struggles interfere with growth, the presence of a disciplemaker can help to change the landscape. By having an alongsider in the journey, a disciple’s individual needs can be identified and faced alongside a faithful disciplemaker who is there to help them grow.
Modeling
I have learned many life-lessons from those who have modeled dependence on Christ, especially in the midst of difficulty and pain. Consider the words of Paul to his protégé’ Timothy: “You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, persecutions, sufferings…, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them” (2 Timothy 3:10-11 NIV). Living closely enough to gain personal insights from the lives of others is a fruitful space for Christian formation. Growing in this kind of context allows for personal investment where “more is caught than taught.”
Encouragement
Let’s face it. We all experience fear and discouragement in our lives. Some of us fear what others think of us. Others fear failure. We get discouraged when things don’t go the way we expect them to or when we feel as though our prayers aren’t being answered. Whatever the fear or discouragement at hand, the presence of a faith-filled alongsider speaking courage into our lives makes a difference. While God promises His presence, He often reminds us through the presence of a faithful disciplemaker who continually speaks courage into our lives.
Personal Shared Stories
As I spend time with someone I disciple, shared stories are created in our relationship. Experiences we share, including struggles and joys, shape the depth of our friendship. We can laugh about blunders made as new skills are practiced, and we can celebrate victories as they occur. Shared stories lead to common bonds where depth grows in the relationship, and partnerships are forged more deeply in faithfulness to the gospel.
Mutual Trust
Honesty and vulnerability increase as trust grows through friendship and genuine encouragement. Over time, the person being discipled will be able to more deeply share issues where they may be wrestling with God. They will begin to see their disciplemaker as a source of faithful instruction and care in following Christ through His Word, and as one who can speak into their weaknesses as they grow. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17 NIV).
Partnership and Accountability
When resolve fails, a disciplemaker who knows the heart of the disciple can bolster faithfulness to God. A disciplemaker will ask appropriate questions, speak from a place of love and experience, and be a partner on the path of faithfulness. Occasionally, a disciplemaker will bring loving confrontation when a sin pattern is ignored. As the biblical narrative reminds us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NIV).
When these kinds of relationships take root, something else begins to happen.
These distinctives set the stage for disciplemaking to multiply. As I have seen time and time again, those who are poured into deeply and individually are more likely to be equipped with the tools, the heart, and the intentionality to invest in others.
